SEATTLE — Off-the-grid punk communities across the U.S. are celebrating news of their hero, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, “sticking it to the man” once again…
Call me old fashioned but when I first saw that Tim and Annie Lebowitz were “looking for a third” on Tinder I thought that they…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Deftones frontman Chino Moreno placed third today in a Chino Moreno look-alike contest held by local rock radio station KRXQ 98.5, leaving…
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local dad Mike Berg astonished a group of young musicians yesterday by using the word “axe” in lieu of “guitar” eight times…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local man Mike Jankowski waited until his haircut was safely completed Thursday evening before attempting to stop to his barber’s hateful political…
Recently, Henry Rollins, acclaimed actor from the 1994 movie ‘The Chase’, agreed to sit down for an interview with the Hard Times. Unfortunately, our office…
LOS ANGELES — Fans and critics alike were delighted today by the long-awaited release of Tool’s new album “Fear Inoculum,” which sounds exactly the same…
TRENTON, N.J. — A group of punks’ plan to invite geriatric next-door neighbor Zofia Gorski to a party so she wouldn’t call the cops backfired…
NINTH CIRCLE OF HELL — Denizens of the underworld are welcoming significant infrastructure improvements over the next few weeks as the newest arrival, billionaire David…
Many of the immigrants that come to the United States seeking a better life are woefully overqualified for the low-skilled jobs they’re forced to settle…
PALM BEACH, Fla. — President Donald Trump reportedly spent Wednesday morning roaming Mar-a-Lago Resort pining for the days when America consistently put out work that,…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — A copy of Dean Koontz’s “The Good Guy” was found beaten and battered on a local bookshelf yesterday, while a copy of…
REDWOOD CITY, Calif. — Impossible Foods Inc., the creator of the meatless Impossible Burger, announced today the development of “Impossible Veal,” the next product in…
Hey, remember bucket hats? What a ‘90s nostalgia trip, am I right?! We used to call them fisherman hats because old men used to wear…
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — A merch cashier at Little Rock’s Verizon Arena apologized profusely last night to a gaggle of irate Parrotheads for running out…