Remember when Elon Musk smoked weed on Joe Rogan’s podcast? Yeah you do, but BARELY. If you had to take even a moment to remember,…
AUCKLAND, N.Z. — Property developers demolishing iconic local venue the Queens Arms sold the impossibly sticky floor to an international flypaper manufacturer on Wednesday, as…
GREAT NECK, N.Y. — Straight edge hardcore vocalist Brody Meenan’s date last night came to an unceremonious end after several unsuccessful attempts to connect with…
Columbus day has become an incredibly controversial holiday in recent years. Some call it an integral part of our cultural heritage, others a sham holiday…
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Self-described horror nerd Jackie Pagán will celebrate the Halloween season with a month-long news intake marathon, empathetic onlookers confirmed. “I used to…
BOSTON — Iconic shoe company Converse announced today a limited-edition line of their famous All-Star sneakers, pre-duct taped together and scribbled on with Sharpie markers,…
VALPARAISO, Ind. — Local punk band Panama Root Canal enjoyed a record turnout last night for the Cleveland stop of their Midwest tour when their…
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Local political activist Bridget Wakefield has been working tirelessly within her community to raise public awareness about the little-known fact that…
SALT LAKE CITY — Local anarchist Vance Rover, known for carrying a sign reading “Eat The Rich” at every protest in the greater Salt Lake…
Fuckin’ SLAYER mother fucker! Yeah! Fuckin’ Raining Blood fuckin’ metal fuck yeah! AAAAAAARRRGGHHH! Yeah! Oh yeah so fuckin’ BRUTAL! 0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0–0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0–0-0-0-0-0-0 You HEAR that SHIT?! That’s…
CLEVELAND — Metalhead Tom Stanza was deeply perplexed yesterday by the ambiguous review of metal band Gorefucker’s newest album Toxic Cum, confused sources confirmed. “First…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Hedonistic rocker Andrew W.K held a press conference today to address accusations that his stage persona may be a “gimmick,” releasing…
SEATTLE — Punk band The Dead Labor issued a public apology today via Facebook for the “unapologetic and raw” lyrical content of their new album,…
The debate over control has always been a heated dialogue in our country, but in recent years it has reached a fever pitch. The number…
WASHINGTON — Tiffany Trump, daughter of President Donald Trump, received her very first text message from her father earlier today, sources close to the First…