Look, we’ve all been there. You’ve decided to take a nice, relaxing vacation, sailing by yourself in the middle of the South Pacific, with no…
CLEVELAND — Local goth Stacy “Scheherazade” Kowalski earned a tidy sum of $523 last week after nearly two dozen tourists mistook her dark and foreboding…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — A new study suggests that the average punk unknowingly has sex with five people who go by the name “Spider” over…
ROSSITER, Pa. — Your long-term girlfriend Lisa Sandoval found your recent Instagram activity “kinda funny” and “a little weird, if I’m being honest” late Tuesday…
Quintessential indie rock band Pavement has crafted some of the most iconic independent music of the last 30 years, and their influence has left its…
BAYONNE, N.J. — Rooney’s Tavern resident sad guy John Russo is reportedly nothing more than a lonely, pathetic alcoholic, despite matching the description of every…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local music fan Don Glenswig was elated last night to discover a long line for the bathroom in which to waste time…
SAN FRANCISCO — A young San Franciscan couple enjoyed the beginnings of autumn this weekend, relishing the sight of a homeless person in the Mission…
If you are looking for the spark that will ignite the flame of incel revolution, look elsewhere. When I bought my ticket to see “Joker”…
PITTSBURGH — Local man Kevin Cole and his friends failed again moments ago attempting to sneak a keg into a DIY venue, according to sources…
CINCINNATI — Self-described anarcho-punk and Wells Fargo bank teller Gary Morin claimed again today that he only took his job 12 years ago to bring…
MECHANICSVILLE, Va. — Local sous chef Timothy Devino tried to cheer up his potentially depressed girlfriend Jordan Meyer yesterday by serving her breakfast, lunch, and…
Recently, The Hard Times recently had an opportunity to interview influential indie rock band The National. But on the day the interview was scheduled for…
WASHINGTONVILLE, N.Y. — 30-year-old pop-punk fan T.J. Keen pushed the limits of age and style last night by wearing an ill-fitting Joyce Manor T-shirt to…
UTICA, N.Y. — A local hipster was terrorizing shoppers leaving an area Trader Joe’s grocery store yesterday, asking if they’ve ever heard of legendary Upstate…