BALTIMORE — A new study conducted by researchers at Johns Hopkins University confirmed that the mysterious glow many women experience during their early months of…
In the 1890’s, Ivan Pavlov discovered that he could cause dogs to salivate at his command by associating food with the ringing of a bell.…
DAYTON, Ohio — Local car enthusiast Daniel Wagner learned yesterday that his customized 1998 Honda Civic is not yet “classic” enough to earn him respect…
POMONA, Calif. — Trick-or-treaters visiting the haunted junkyard behind Old Man Clemens’ house were rewarded with rusted harmonicas handed out by rascal king Tom Waits,…
Halloween is right around the corner and you want to stand out. Every year we see the same old costumes- a generic horror movie monster,…
What you have all done to Halloween is disgusting. Everywhere I turn people are dressed up in ‘sexy’ costumes and going to parties. Halloween is…
BELLE ISLE, Fla. — Local goth Jess “Alexandria Ravenwood” Reynolds is heartbroken that her recently deceased aunt did not include a “one night in a…
SYDNEY, Australia — Developers behind the popular mid-2000s peer-to-peer sharing platform Kazaa announced today that files labeled “Tom_Green_Sausage_Song_AudioREAL_FUNNY” will headline the inaugural Kazaalapalooza later this…
AKRON, Ohio — Local fourth-grader Vincent “Vinny” Ortiz-Galt felt “I don’t know, just bad, I guess” about wearing a homemade bulletproof vest to school that…
There’s no denying it, fall is in the air. The leaves are changing. Kids across the country are counting the days till Halloween. And somewhere,…
AUSTIN, Texas — Pop-punk quartet Shapes and Sizes is enjoying their most fiscally stable tour yet, splitting expenses amongst the members’ parents evenly in an…
NEW YORK — The Hard Times ran out of small print and medium-sized print copies of their new book, “The Hard Times: The First 40…
PITTSBURGH — Local punk Sean Schricker was spotted around lunchtime yesterday carrying a bag of food from upscale gas station and quick-service restaurant Sheetz, even…
SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — An independent adult film company has achieved a new level of realism in lesbian pornography with their latest feature-length video of…
I get it. You see the corpse paint, the inverted crosses, the sheep’s heads skewered on mic stands, and you think, “Wow, this is one…