I’m so sick of everyone calling me a hypochondriac. It puts excess strain on my life and makes me doubt myself, which is not something…
Opinion: Stop Calling Me a Hypochondriac, You Have No Idea What It’s Like to Live With Every Illness
SEATTLE — A new model from the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation at the University of Washington shows that the patience of local woman…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Margery Watson’s annual Mother’s Day breakfast-in-bed was obstructed by her unsightly ventilator due to complications from an advanced case of COVID-19, depressed…
SPANISH FORT, Ala. — Millennial Thomas Cervantes proudly stated today that he’s old enough to remember when MTV still played “Room Raiders” and other reality…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Local Klan member and conservative activist David Mount has changed his views on wearing masks in public following recent stay-at-home orders…
Somewhere along the way, my Facebook newsfeed changed from being a fun place to ogle bikini pics from girls I knew in high school, to…
DULUTH, Minn. — Local couple Alice Parker and Shaun McCoy announced the reunification of their relationship today, after having already broken up and reconciled twice…
NEW YORK — NBA commissioner Adam Silver is using the league’s ongoing suspension due to COVID-19 to finally add “no dogs” to the official rulebook,…
Sweep picking is the hardest, gnarliest, most impressive technique a man can do on a guitar. I can’t tell you how many hours I spent…
NEW YORK — Local man David Treyborn realized today, while testing the flow of the new bidet attachment he purchased as a low-waste alternative to…
GLENSIDE, Penn. — A new report from the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention states that a majority of American’s are still battling to find…
Given that we’ve been in some sort of recession or another ever since I’ve been old enough to know the word “republican,” it’s time we…
NEW YORK — Quarantined high school bully Evan Maddox, under stay-at-home orders for the past three weeks, gave himself swirlies yesterday out of desperation, amused…
Opinion: I Hope We Can Still Be Friends Because I May Need to Borrow Money or Your Car at Some Point
Opinion: I Hope We Can Still Be Friends Because I May Need to Borrow Money or Your Car at Some Point
Listen, this isn’t working out. Sorry. I’m sure this must come as a shock to you especially since I overdrew our joint bank account last…
ATLANTA — Georgia Governor Brian Kemp announced that the state will close hospitals, re-open bars, and “just let God do his thing or whatever he’s…