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Middle-School Tattoo Artist Can Only Do Transparent Cube, Working on That “S” Thing

Sacramento, Calif. — Northpoint Middle School seventh grader and tattoo wunderkind Connor Butler is quickly expanding his portfolio from a transparent cube to the decidedly more badass “S” thing, stoked sources reported.

“I don’t think I’m special or anything. I had to work my way up drawing on stolen oranges. I mean, I got them from home, but like, I didn’t tell my mom I was taking them,” Butler confessed. “Then I got an apprenticeship under this ninth grader — he’s pretty well known; he can do the Linkin Park logo, and he vapes. He had me start with the basics: anarchy symbol, the ‘Flash’ logo, your classic dick with and without pubes… but my transparent cube is really what put me on the map. After doing that for a bit, I knew it was time to test the limits of my talent with the pointy ‘S.’”

Northpoint faculty member and resident cool teacher Aaron Price believes that part of his role is to nurture budding talent like Butler’s.

“First of all, Mr. Price was my stepdad. You can call me Aaron,” Price said while sitting performatively on the edge of his desk. “I have to say, I’m not surprised. I know everyone’s way into Connor’s cubes, but I was following his work back in the infinity symbol period — man, his sideways eights were transcendent. I knew I had to sit for a piece while I still could, so I had him do the Dalai Lama’s birthday in bubble letters right next to this super meaningful tribal tat I got in Santa Monica.”

Unfortunately, Northpoint students aren’t all excited by Butler’s rising popularity.

“You’re kidding, right? That dude sucks,” admitted classmate Sammy Lopez. “Look, I’m not saying his cube isn’t sick — it totally is, some of the straightest lines I’ve ever seen. But all his shit is so basic and mainstream. He came in last week bragging that he learned to do the Green Day logo on a pig ear, which is stupid, because it’s literally just ‘Green’ and ‘Day’ badly drawn.”

Butler is reportedly purchasing a Japanese Tabori tool to attempt authentic “Dragon Ball Z” tattoos.