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Girlfriend Promoted From Instagram Story to Instagram Post

WATERLOO, Iowa — A local couple’s relationship elevated to the next level yesterday after boyfriend Logan Carpenter featured a photo of his girlfriend Naima Alford in an Instagram post rather than his story, shocked sources confirm.

“I was totally caught off guard,” said Alford, admiring the recently posted photo of her and her beau holding hands in front of a P.F. Chang’s. “I’d almost come to accept we would just be one of those couples that never posted photos of each other, but look at us now — it’s been over 24 hours, and I’m still on his Instagram for all of his 152 followers to see. Sure, there’s no tag, and the caption just read, ‘I’m going to have to shit real bad in 25 minutes,’ but still, pretty sweet.”

Although Alford has posted many photos of her boyfriend on social media, even dedicating every #mancrushmonday to him for the past 46 weeks straight, her acts of commitment have not been reciprocated.

“I feel bad saying this, but she doesn’t really match my aesthetic,” said Carpenter of his feed largely consisting of remodeled cars, dead fish, and his dog, Butch. “She says if I have a special place for her in my heart, I should have a special place for her on my Instagram, so I just gave in. I only hope our relationship can withstand this kind of high-profile stuff.”

Social media experts weighed in on Carpenter’s feature of the woman he’s seen exclusively for nearly an entire year.

“Younger couples tend to shy away from all things permanent — hence frequent use of the feature that automatically deletes a photo after 24 hours — unlike posts, which stay up permanently, or until it’s deleted by the user for not receiving enough likes,” said Millennial relationship expert Tessa Rhodes. “Next to taking ketamine or raising a succulent together, posting an Instagram photo of your partner on your actual feed is one of the biggest decisions facing young couples today.”

At press time, Carpenter had deleted the Instagram photo of Alford after they got into a minor argument over what to eat for dinner, claiming he felt “trapped.”