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We Look Back on “Love in an Elevator” and Ask Why the Fuck We’re Listening To Aerosmith

“Love in an Elevator” is a song by Aerosmith that appeared on their 1989 album “Pump.” If you are asking why in God’s name we’re talking about one of the worst songs by one of the worst mainstream rock bands to ever exist, well then we wish you were at Shawn’s apartment last night to echo our sentiments.

We didn’t pick the playlist, but now that Goddamn song is stuck in our head. The worst part is, it’s not even that memorable! Sure, we can remember the chorus, but when we open our mouth to sing, black goo starts running out of our nose and our thoughts turn to flashing images of our family member’s heads on spikes. This song is bad.

So why the fuck are we listening to Aerosmith right now? Is it because Shawn secretly likes Aerosmith? Is it because Shawn knows we stole $20 off his desk when we got here? No clue. All we know for sure is that Shawn’s a bad friend.

We could understand listening to “Dream On” or even that Eminem song that sampled it. To be frank, it’d be a better look blasting “Dude Looks Like a Lady” in 2020 than to be caught listening to “Love in an Elevator” at any point in history. Even if it’s by accident, the second you hear that unremarkable intro riff of guitars or drums or whatever, you should probably just start running. No one will judge you. At least not as hard as they would judge you for listening to “Love in an Elevator.”

That said, the lyrics are pretty good.