Nice Fugazi shirt. Where’d you get it, Target? Heh. Probably. Okay then, name three songs. Please? I’m trying to get into them. Oh, and “Waiting…
TORONTO — Crust punk Seth Ulrich tragically bled to death yesterday after making the unfortunate decision to floss his teeth for the first time in…
Hey, thanks for coming over. Are you enjoying the music? You can put on whatever you want, you know? Can I fix you another piña…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Every member of Rochester’s remaining DIY scene is homeless today following their eviction from the 600 square foot studio apartment they shared,…
You bring the stuff? Sweet. These are authentic JNCO jeans, right? The ones from the late ’90s?I don’t want none of this watered-down, kinda-baggy-leg bullshit.…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Seminal punk band Green Day are reportedly heading back into the studio this week to record a new, “blistering” single venting their…
BOSTON — Former drinker Mackenzie Stodd has fully shifted her addictive tendencies by committing all her free time and energy into the much more expensive…
Pete and Pete. The Coreys. Ed Edd n Eddy. Popular culture is rich with stories of people with the same or very similar name finding…
SALINE, Mich. — Supposed “lame-ass” history teacher Trevor Rubio failed student Rachel Traynor yesterday for insisting that Neutral Milk Hotel lyrics were a credible source…
So you just serendipitously ran into Jon Hamm at a bar and wouldn’t leave him alone until you made him let you buy a beer.…
PHILADELPHIA — Local millennial Lauren Toole and her live-in boyfriend Nick McIntyre are making an effort to not argue in front of their new houseplant…
Quiz time! Pop-punk makes you feel alive, and there’s nothing like screaming along to your favorite lyrics about how the lead singer got dumped! If…
HELL — The Devil, legal name Satan, continued the long, bitter litigation with Victory Records founder Tony Brummel today to free his emo band The…
HOUSTON — Local “hot mess” Terri Garter is confident she found the long-awaited solution to get her life back on track in a $20 daily…
SEATTLE — Chronic back-pain sufferer Delaney Edwards is giving serious thought to the polyamorous lifestyle after realizing it could lead to intensely thrilling experiences like…