NEW YORK — Ted Mosby launched a cannabis brand this week called Archi-THC, which boasts it will make every user more of a whiny, self-pitying,…
CINCINNATI — Organizers of the National Spelling Bee expressed serious concerns this week after learning that the highly-regarded competition is in serious danger of running…
To me, passion is the most important part of a relationship. At the beginning of a relationship, it’s passion that makes you feel on top…
MADISON, Wis. — 14-year-old nu metal fan and novice Boy Scout Calvin Nelson is reportedly only interested in learning about the slipknot, frustrated sources confirmed.…
Normally with goatee guys, certain behaviors are expected: drive past a school yard too many times, stalk your ex-wife, drink Coors Light and listen to…
OURAY, Col. — Researchers at the Ouray Audiology Research Facility were equally thrilled and confused that a recently discovered Gregorian chant from 1592 somehow has…
Okay, this is important, everyone: I’m the girl from “Jessie’s Girl,” and I’m here to say that I don’t know who either of those guys…
CHICAGO — Cadets of the Chicago Police Academy were reminded of the exhausting six weeks of training they endured in order to become full-fledged police…
Nine Inch Nails have had a historic career. We could talk about their music for days, but I was never a fan. My mom spent…
DENVER — Local woman Caitlin Baker recently celebrated her fully vaccinated status by dropping her dating standards to an all-time low, concerned friends and family…
Listen, everyone. We all know this last year of Covid-19 quarantine has been tough on everyone, and those extra hundos in unemployment have been helpful.…
LOS ANGELES — Veteran musician and Alkaline Trio founder Matt Skiba reportedly wishes he hadn’t gotten a prominent tattoo of his former band when he…
BIKINI BOTTOM― Longtime cashier Squidward Tentacles is the lead suspect in a mass shooting at the Krusty Krab which left one employee dead and a…
CHICAGO — Local stoner Lukas James accidentally tasted his first apple in over ten years last week after using it to construct a homemade smoking…
The Thin White Duke. Aladdin Sane. Ziggy Stardust. None of these nicknames describes Ted Nugent, a man primarily known for his chest-thumping patriotism, as well…