It can be hard to choose your favorite, especially when there is so much to choose from. With an artist with as huge a discography…
WASHINGTON — A new report from the Food and Drug Administration confirmed that the rate of teenagers rhyming the word “cigarette” with the words “night…
LOS GATOS, Calif. — Netflix CEO Reed Hastings announced earlier this week that the streaming platform lost 200,000 monthly viewers last quarter, which amounted to…
Whether it’s hiding backward satanic messages in their songs or non-consensually downloading their album to your iPhone, musicians are never happier than when slipping something…
OGDEN, Utah — Open-minded cop Dennis Alvarez took several minutes to carefully weigh both sides of a fictional narrative he crafted inside his own head…
Oh, hey there. This is a pretty cool party, right? I couldn’t help overhear a conversation you were having earlier when you said that you…
TRENTON, N,J. — Music, the auditory art form which has been a part of humanity since antiquity, issued an apology for reportedly “saving the life”…
Hey, everybody? It’s me, Green Squadron Leader. I know we have a lot going on right now and this whole Death Star thing is at…
TOLEDO, Ohio. – Local goth office worker Todd Schmidt admitted privately that he is secretly craving a slice of the delicious Funfetti birthday cake that’s…
All my adult life, people have wondered about my secrets. How is it that I, a man with a ponytail and a Tame Impala T-shirt,…
DERA ISMAIL KHAN SUBDIVISION, Pakistan – Militant extremist group Al-Qaeda, the terrorist cell responsible for the 9/11 attacks, claimed to be the forces behind musician…
In the 1980s, Metallica were at the forefront of the World’s thrash scene. The image they held and the music they played kept them a…
BOULDER, Colo. — A recent report conducted by a string of irritated citizens shows that the nation’s parks are already filled with assholes, dumbasses, and…
Alright, dudes and dudettes. So you met a beefcake and you been going together for a while. Well, what’s next? How do you know if…
DETROIT – Metalhead Drew Fronski used his one and only phone call from the county jail to get one last unprovoked jab in at the…