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Here’s How To Tell If He’s Shredding, Gleaming, Thrashing, Or Totally Beefin It

Alright, dudes and dudettes. So you met a beefcake and you been going together for a while. Well, what’s next? How do you know if the dude is secretly harshing your romantic narrative? Listen up, raymundos. We have put together the definitive guide on whether or not that dude is shredding, gleaming, thrashing, or TOTALLY beefin’ it.

The dude is shredding

People can shred many things, from lettuce, guitars, and paper to sled, gnar, and the famously ambiguous ‘it’. If he’s wreaking of the ol’ shifty shell-shock, he is absolutely not shredding. I can’t stress this enough. Alternatively, if you’ve noticed this dude holding at least one electric guitar and catching air on the halfpipe, cheeyeah. The dude is shreddin.

Your boy is straight gleaming
Some claim there is no formal bio-metric for gleaming. Well, guess what? Those bogus barf-bag boneheads can suck it, bra. You can gleam just about any three-dimensional solid object, all you have to do is believe and hold on to your vision just like in that Gary Wright song “Hold on to Your Vision.” When this dude isn’t out skating he’s probably throwing the wildest PG-rated pool parties you’ve ever seen.

Hell yeah, he’s thrashin!

Is he hot, reckless, and totally insane? That dude is thrashin. This dude may only be a Ramp Local now but he will soon caveman drop off the hood of some square’s LeBaron straight into your heart. You’ll be hanging on a dirty mattress in The Dagger’s clubhouse in no time.


Gag me with a spoon why don’t you. This L7 weenie couldn’t gleam out of a two-dimensional gelatin. A true loser who will be sack tapping rails for years to come. Plus, I bet his dad wouldn’t even pick us up at the mall even if we called him collect and said our name but then hung up before he had to accept the charges.