LAKEWOOD, Colo. — Local man Sean Richard is already showing signs of severe infection while getting a stick and poke tattoo from a close friend…
You’ve already made up your mind about me. Just because I was born in 1949, you think I’m a helpless old woman in a big,…
FITCHBURG, Mass. — Local drummer Andrew Kingston is reportedly ecstatic after seeing the tremendous results that placing a tiny, stinky, old blanket inside of his…
CHICAGO — Liz Remis, a medical transcriptionist and three-year Chicago resident, voiced her horror at the thought of living in the suburbs in spite of…
Killeen, Texas natives Offenders were a hardcore outfit that would go on to become a staple of the underground Austin scene through the mid-80s. “Endless…
Dear black metal fans, this may come as a shock to many of you but I am not a Satanist. Despite my appearance and everything…
ELLENSBURG, Wash. — Members of local skiffle-punk revival band Rat Boy and The Cheese Police agreed to practice a song written by the group’s drummer,…
So you’re a thirtysomething with your shit somewhat together. You’ve grown up at least to the point of running your own life and you’re finally…
STONY BROOK, N.Y. — Lifelong socially anxious man Max Trembolt revealed to a group of friends that he was single and ready to mingle with…
As parents, we have to make sacrifices all the time. Any parent will tell you this. You can miss your kid’s first steps because you’re…
OMAHA, Neb. — Local guitarist Sebastian Melendez purchases the most inexpensive PA at his regular music equipment store following a detailed, four-hour description of every…
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Amateur movie critic and frequent Letterboxd user Riley Nelson somehow fell ass-backward into writing a review that featured a clear structure, thoughtful…
CONCORD, N.H. — Local trust fund kid Gil Winchester once again mocked his friends for electing to watch a more cost-effective version of Hulu with…
Ew bro, put that White Claw down. Do you actually think that mass-produced piss water is good? Bro, wait until you try my next batch…
RALEIGH, N.C. — Friends of record enthusiast Tom Montgomery expressed grave concern that they may be asked to help move his massive collection one day,…