GRAND CAYMAN, Cayman Islands — Disgraced actor Armie Hammer reportedly walked out of a Cannibal Corpse performance moments before the death metal icons introduced their…
No way. I’m not going to watch that stupid-ass movie. Have you seen the way people are roasting it on Twitter? I don’t know why…
NEW YORK – Local punk Chris Lanning was recently caught in the embarrassing act of cutting both an all-beef frank and blow with the same…
The Monkees were NBC’s biggest posers besides so-called “cop killer” turned pig, Ice T. But they were far from the only bullshit artists to slither…
Former NFL player and University of Georgia football darling Herschel Walker is currently running to be a United States senator representing the state of Georgia.…
Ever since I discovered BDSM Tumblr as a youth, I have dreamt of dying at the hands of horned-up sadistic hellspawn. I dedicated my life…
COLD SPRING, N.Y. — The local corn maze at Humble Seeds Orchard reportedly caused a record 57 relationships to end in a single season, sources…
GRAND ISLAND, Neb. — Local doctor Harvin Smill found himself visibly sweaty this morning responding with a mumbled sequence of “uhhh yeah me too, totally,…
DUXBURY, Mass. — Local affluent teen Cody Milligan was confused by President Biden’s recent pardon of people arrested for Marijuana possession since he never knew…
DALLAS – Local man Shane Whitlock recently blew the two-drink minimum at a small, laid-back music venue clear out of the fucking water, according to…
Well, boil, boil, toil, and NOT SO MUCH TROUBLE apparently. Ever since I was introduced to the tale of Hansel and Gretel as a child…
CHELSEA, Mich. — The right leg of local One Man Band “Dandy Dale’s Ragshackle Ramtime Revue” is leaving to pursue a solo kick drum career…
Listen, I know it’s all in good fun and I should be a good sport about this, but I would like this assembled Parent Teacher…
BALTIMORE — Relatives of recently deceased punk Bryan Allen decided to postpone the beginning of his funeral until a few more mourners show up, sources…
CHICAGO — Local couple Nicole Vario and Peter Brooks opted to stay together as the mere idea of dating caused both of them to become…