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Right Leg Pursues Solo Kick-Drum Career After Dramatic Falling Out With Rest of One-Man-Band

CHELSEA, Mich. — The right leg of local One Man Band “Dandy Dale’s Ragshackle Ramtime Revue” is leaving to pursue a solo kick drum career after citing irreconcilable creative differences, sources confirmed.

“We all got along great for a while there, but in the past year or so, ol’ Righty would begin snapping at some of the other members of the band. Vicious stuff,” said Dandy Dale’s lead vocalist, his own head. “The final straw was when he put right arm in the hospital, for moving the slide of my trombone too flashily…Right leg’s always been about the fundamentals, he hated the pageantry that went along with the Dandy Dale sound. So now I guess it’s time to dismember this member. It’s gonna hurt to see him go…especially if the doctor only uses the local anesthetic.”

Dale’s longtime roadie for the Ramtime Revue, Dougie Shermans, expressed relief at the lineup change, if only for his own benefit.

“To tell you the truth, I don’t quite know why Dale’s really ever needed a roadie for this outfit…and I mean outfit in the sense that he wears most of the instruments in a wacky suit contraption,” said a hushed Shermans. “I’m happy to see Right leg branch out. It is incredibly talented but also a bit volatile. On more than one occasion my rear end got a swift kick from Rightie because its kick drum was really the only thing I ever had to load in and out. But with it hitting the bricks, I’m on easy street from now on. My spine oughta remember to send a thank you note to his leg.”

Foremost Michigan surgeon Dr. Henrietta French explains why she’s elected to help the leg embark on the upcoming solo journey.

“As long as all parties are in agreement, this amputation should indeed provide Mr. Dale, all his remaining body parts, and his departing right leg, with creative peace,” said Dr. French. “This surgery is not cosmetic, it’s merely artistic. Plus, most band breakups are typically covered by even the cheapest health insurance options. Not many people know that. The Beatles could have really cleaned up if they had the foresight to fall off that rooftop while calling it quits.”

When asked if it had any final sentiments for its old band members, the departing leg simply raised a solemn middle toe.