NORWELL, Mass. — Animal, the eccentric drummer of Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, signed a lucrative endorsement deal today agreeing to only eat Zildjian…
LEWISTON, Maine — Local hardcore kid Ernie Gibbs is reportedly such a serious hardcore fan that he goes to sleep every night dressed in a…
COVINGTON, Ky. — Magick shop owner and obvious goth Maryanne “Luna” Hobbes couldn’t decide this morning how many corsets to pack for an upcoming family…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Tigerpanther frontman Nicky Pittman drastically misjudged his audiences’ level of familiarity last night with several of his songs, reportedly leaving attendees confused…
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local punk Ivan Gomez gingerly set his “Meat Is Murder” T-shirt today into a new drawer set aside for band shirts he…
AUSTIN, Texas — Dean Hedlund, the chronically late lead singer of post-rock band Explosions in the Sky, arrived just in time last night to play…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local punk Tim Bell talked himself into an assault charge yesterday after aggressively confronting a police officer in attempting to talk his…
CHICAGO — Local metalhead Gary Dwyer cannot wait to “pound a sixer” of Old Style in the parking lot before Riot Fest, get nauseous, throw…
PHOENIXVILLE, Pa. — Local punk Logan Sharp is leaving her hometown and bandmates for the “new gig” she just booked in Seattle, which in actuality…
AKRON, Ohio — Overprotective parent Carol Miller is reportedly having the “time of her life” after insisting on accompanying her son on a 10-day tour…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Guitar effects pedal manufacturer Strymon announced today the release of a new, $1000 reverb pedal called the BigNothing, which models its cavernous…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — A thriving, local punk scene has developed around high school freshman Rory Ferguson, a 15-year-old whom sources confirm has the best…
NYACK, N.Y. — Two desperate singles ignored glaring red flags on their Tinder date early this week after discovering that they share the same favorite…
DAVIS, Calif. — Indie-funk-fusion band Bougie Juice broke their social media silence yesterday with an apologetic post after five weeks without a status update on…
BALTIMORE — Local anarcho-punk Tommy Mauro “totally doesn’t give a fuck,” but does prefer guests use coasters, even if it’s “no big deal, and also,…