CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Behavioral scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology announced a breakthrough discovery of a theoretical fourth option for occupying a person’s hands…
BALTIMORE — Self-proclaimed “scene king” Stephen Fernandez sent an event invite for an upcoming show to his recently deceased friend’s Facebook profile “just to be…
BISMARCK, N.D. — A group of local aging punks gathered outside of a show at The Railyard Tavern early yesterday evening, sharing what they believed…
LOS ANGELES — Everclear frontman Art Alexakis was “honestly not surprised” his father made no appearance at the family Christmas gathering for the 52nd year…
CHICAGO — Holiday icon and present delivery mogul Santa Claus admitted this morning that he snuck Bandcamp links to his latest lo-fi EP, “Jingle Beats…
COSTA MESA, Calif. — Local indie band TunnelFuzz are facing criminal charges today, and are officially banned from all Orange County venues after allegedly dosing…
WATERLOO, Iowa — Christian rock superfan Keri Wilson has resolved not to go backstage after any concerts until she is a married woman, despite frequent…
PORTLAND, Maine — Metalcore frontman and obvious liar Zander Dekay claimed at a show last Friday that he “can’t hear the motherfuckers in the back”…
LOS ANGELES — Sacramento-based punk and local chef Tina “Snot” McLain won the dinner round of the hit cooking show “Chopped” last night with a…
GREAT BARRINGTON, Mass. — Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan stood up to speak last night at an assembly about the current state of the education…
LIVONIA, Mich. — A group of punk Christmas carolers regretted their choice to include The Misfits’ classic “Last Caress” in their repertoire after it was…
ST. LOUIS — Acquaintances of chronically fatigued punk Anthony Mafodda are reportedly perplexed by the rocker’s nocturnal habit of sheathing each individual point of his…
VACAVILLE, Calif. — Local Papa Roach fan Danny Herman scurried out of a Circle K this morning in apparent good health, despite being decapitated in…
DALLAS — Singer-songwriter and registered sex offender Wilfred Barton announcded his first tour dates at a press conference held yesterday afternoon since pleading guilty to…
YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio — Disturbed federal agents confirmed today that local punk and well-known exhibitionist Angela Meyers has removed the little piece of green tape that…