POMONA, Calif. — Trick-or-treaters visiting the haunted junkyard behind Old Man Clemens’ house were rewarded with rusted harmonicas handed out by rascal king Tom Waits,…
BELLE ISLE, Fla. — Local goth Jess “Alexandria Ravenwood” Reynolds is heartbroken that her recently deceased aunt did not include a “one night in a…
SYDNEY, Australia — Developers behind the popular mid-2000s peer-to-peer sharing platform Kazaa announced today that files labeled “Tom_Green_Sausage_Song_AudioREAL_FUNNY” will headline the inaugural Kazaalapalooza later this…
AUSTIN, Texas — Pop-punk quartet Shapes and Sizes is enjoying their most fiscally stable tour yet, splitting expenses amongst the members’ parents evenly in an…
NEW YORK — The Hard Times ran out of small print and medium-sized print copies of their new book, “The Hard Times: The First 40…
PITTSBURGH — Local punk Sean Schricker was spotted around lunchtime yesterday carrying a bag of food from upscale gas station and quick-service restaurant Sheetz, even…
DENVER — Lead singers of two pop-punk bands issued a split release today, a collaborative letter apologizing for their mutual disgusting and predatory actions towards…
NEW YORK — Mariner Books, the publisher of “The Hard Times: The First 40 Years,” announced Friday their intention to release an audiobook version to…
TAMPA, Fla. — Local punk Stephen Lazaro broke up with his new goth girlfriend earlier this week after discovering that sex together involves over two…
PLANO, Texas — Battle of the Bands judge Bradley Chase allowed a desperate four-piece rock band to compete last night using a dog drummer, noting…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Concertgoers were unfazed at last night’s Gin Blossoms show when the band played an entire set of Goo Goo Dolls songs instead…
ITHACA, N.Y. — A sentient pair of boat shoes concluded yesterday that Vampire Weekend’s sound had really evolved since their 2008 self-titled album, following a…
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Edison High School was set ablaze with speculation last week that it’s gym teacher, Douglas Vesely, might actually be legendary hardcore frontman…