INDIANAPOLIS — Oskar Wesley, the 15-year-old frontman of the winner of the 2019 Indianapolis Public School System Battle of the Bands, announced in an interview…
SYDNEY — Acclaimed film composer Hans Zimmer shocked audience members at the Sydney Opera House last night when he appeared onstage at the venue’s historic…
Listen up, snowflakes! As some of you know, my douchebag SJW singer Simon threatened to bring a new guitarist into our band The Keychain Stranglers…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Local man Connor Heath still regrets breaking up with his college girlfriend 20 years on, admitting today that he never got over…
IRVINE,Calif. — Local punk Jenny Stoever is hoping against all hope that her father Ted Stoever’s ardent support of President Trump is just a passing…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Members of the band Temporary Joy were unaware that their perfectly soundproof practice space is also slowly killing them due to the…
DALLAS — Hardworking custodian Chuck O’Gallagher was interrupted while finishing his shift late last night by members of local punk band Wet Socks, who came…
WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. — Local woman Eloise Mandeel called Guitar Center this morning in hopes that an employee would tell her the whereabouts of her…
MEDFORD, N.Y. — Mathcore band A Murder Among Friends observed the biannual Daylight Saving Time rule today by reluctantly setting the time signatures back on…
DAYTON, Ohio — Local car enthusiast Daniel Wagner learned yesterday that his customized 1998 Honda Civic is not yet “classic” enough to earn him respect…
POMONA, Calif. — Trick-or-treaters visiting the haunted junkyard behind Old Man Clemens’ house were rewarded with rusted harmonicas handed out by rascal king Tom Waits,…
BELLE ISLE, Fla. — Local goth Jess “Alexandria Ravenwood” Reynolds is heartbroken that her recently deceased aunt did not include a “one night in a…
SYDNEY, Australia — Developers behind the popular mid-2000s peer-to-peer sharing platform Kazaa announced today that files labeled “Tom_Green_Sausage_Song_AudioREAL_FUNNY” will headline the inaugural Kazaalapalooza later this…