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Broke Punk Can Only Afford to Tattoo Three Out of Four Black Flag Bars

TAMPA, Fla. — Local punk Toni “Skwerm” Malloy was disappointed to find out yesterday that she only budgeted enough for 75% of the bars in her coveted first Black Flag tattoo, disappointed friends confirmed.

“I needed to get it done before people started thinking I was some sort of poser,” said the Florida native while picking the scabs off the discolored tattoo from an unlicensed shop. “I wouldn’t be able to look at myself in the mirror another day if I didn’t get this tattoo, but unfortunately the $17 and case of beer I set aside to pay for the damn thing just wasn’t enough for all four bars. I had to invest in some long sleeve shirts to cover this up until it’s finished, but that just put me further in the hole financially. I’m hoping by next December I’ll be able to complete it and show this thing off with pride.”

Friends of Malloy believe the tattoo was ill-advised from the start.

“I tried to talk her out of it. I tried so hard,” said longtime roommate Ellen Corbett. “She never pays for any of the utilities, eats all the food in the house without ever replacing it, and has been late on rent 37 months in a row, but she wouldn’t be deterred. Now the fact that she has to go back for a second fucking sitting makes my life a whole lot worse. My only hope is convincing her that the three bars are way cooler because it’s like the Adidas logo or something. I’m fucked.”

Veteran tattoo artist Brian “Big T” Tretowski admitted he sees this lack of preparation all the time.

“You’d be surprised by how many people only get partially done band logos,” said Big T. “I’ve done just the hat and martini of the Social Distortion logo, I’ve done only the cross from the Bad Religion logo, and there’ve been multiple times where I haven’t been able to finish up the shading on a Jane Doe tattoo, so it sort of just looks like Christina Ricci.”

At press time, Malloy was being rushed to a local hospital after a botched nipple piercing only made it three quarters of the way through.