LONG BEACH, Calif. — A controversial report released by The Center for Technology today concluded that “probably like 90%” of all individual music collections are…
PHILADELPHIA — Adam Lyons, the lead singer of local band Krawlspace, was deeply offended yesterday after finding a kill-list written by a deranged super-fan with…
The planet is dying, ya’ll. If we don’t act soon even the sickest venues will be entirely underwater and/or perpetually on fire. These are the…
We here at The Hard Times have always been fascinated with the thought experiment that if you give a monkey a typewriter and an infinite…
CARSON CITY, Nev. — 63-year-old punk Ardith “Ardie” Keith cannot believe you haven’t heard of obscure local band Frankie and The Pussies, who broke up…
I love The Flaming Lips and I always will. That will never change regardless of what drugs I’m on. Drugs, like music, open our minds…
REVERE, Mass. — Misguided 43-year-old street punk Martin “Peanut” Landers announced today that he will be upping his cigarette intake to help himself lose 15…
SEATTLE — Local dishwasher Freddie Young is frustrated by his inability to find an artist willing to tattoo Death Grips lyrics anywhere on his body,…
COLUMBUS, Ohio — A fuzzy little punk roommate known only as “Banjo” twitched adorably in his sleep yesterday, presumably dreaming that he was running away…
ATHENS, Ga. — Record store clerk Jimmy Taylor, well-liked by customers for his attentiveness, knowledge of music, and generally affable nature, was fired yesterday by…
CONCORD, Calif. — Local punk couple James Paulson and Maria Overholt admitted last night in front of friends and family that although they are proud…
As one of the few people in this world that genuinely listens to lyrics and pays attention to song titles, allow me to blow your…