By 2003, Metallica had released seven legendary albums and critics were already anointing them among the greatest metal bands of all time. Around that same…
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Punk and self-described “downfall of the establishment” Garreth Wilkes announced today that he will send a vicious death threat to his sitting…
SPRINGFIELD, Mo. — Local frontman Spencer Wilt made an impassioned declaration to the Coronavirus “and other infectious diseases,” clarifying that highly contagious sicknesses of any…
ATLANTA — In an effort to slow the spread of the novel COVID-19, the Center for Disease Control recommended today that U.S. citizens dress in…
LUBBOCK, Texas — Psych-rock band Three Inch Teeth treated their drummer Mitchell Gauthier to a night on the town last night, doing all of his…
KENT, Conn. — Local shoplifter and psychological mastermind Wendy “Sticky Fingers” Hartley reportedly bought a 35-cent pack of Big Red chewing gum yesterday to distract…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Local punk Eddy “Rotgut” Lewiston made a panicked phone call to his parents to make sure his vast fortune was not affected…
Talk about a once in a lifetime moment! When 33-year-old line cook Danny Bordeaux went to see Rise Against perform at Thalia Hall he never…
NEW YORK — Local punk Johnny Tolbert’s extensive record of good deeds and “random acts of kindness” are all simply court-mandated, law enforcement officials confirmed.…
TOLEDO, Ohio — A local punk church celebrated the addition of a new stained glass window today, commemorating the ultimate sacrifice made by 34-year-old Rosie…
Some genres of music span a lifetime and will live on forever. Jazz, Rock ‘N Roll, Grindcore, and Symphonic Death Metal are all still very…
PACIFICA, Calif. — Show promoters upset potential attendees last week by billing a show held in a garage at street level as a “basement show,”…
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Probation officer Morris Berger is the closest thing struggling punk band Muskrat Funeral has to a tour manager, according to sources who…