Press "Enter" to skip to content

Band Takes Drummer on One Last Day of Doing All of His Favorite Things

LUBBOCK, Texas — Psych-rock band Three Inch Teeth treated their drummer Mitchell Gauthier to a night on the town last night, doing all of his favorite activities one last time, heartbroken sources report.

“We kicked the day off with a great big breakfast — seeing his smile when the waitress brought out his plate brought me back to when we first recruited him as a drummer. Everything seemed so much easier back then,” said singer Lindsay Dixon. “We got him all his favorites: bologna, a big spoon of peanut butter, and Trix, his favorite dry food. We just wanted Mitch to have a special last day with us. Anything he wants.”

After breakfast, the band took a trip to the park where Gauthier would often smoke cigarettes.

“He just loves being outdoors, burning off energy and socializing with everyone. Sometimes he will bump into another drummer, and they will go on and on about different techniques — he could keep talking until his heart explodes, so we’d usually have to break them up,” stated bassist Marcus Packer. “I think this is his favorite place to be, so we had to come down here and let him have a final run around with us while he still can. Some of my favorite memories with him are days we spent here, just throwing his drumsticks and watching him chase them.”

After leaving the park, the band piled into their car, giving Gauthier the front seat as they headed to the beach for one final swim.

“We haven’t come to the beach together in ages because Mitch usually runs off and we spend half the day looking for him,” said Dixon. “But we aren’t going to worry about that now. Today is all about our special guy and making sure he’s happy and comfortable, so we brought him down to the ocean to splash around and bite at the water. He just loves it so much.”

Gauthier admitted that the day was one of the greatest in recent memory.

“Today has been the best,” Gauthier said, clearly tuckered out. “Everyone’s been so nice and excited about all the things I want to do. There’s even this cool, much younger guy that’s been hanging out with us all day. And he’s a drummer, too! We’re really clicking and I’ve never felt better about our future as a group.”

“Anyway I gotta run,” Gauthier added. “The guys said they have big news for me — I bet we’re going to the movies or something. I hope today never ends!”