TOPEKA, Kan. – Local boring millennial Harley Shun admitted that he is horribly embarrassed by his drunken antics which made him enjoyable to be around…
The Trump campaign has been in a downward spiral ever since the media caught wind of the fact that he and everyone around him are…
If there’s one thing that drives me crazy it’s when I see other adults break out the tired “kids these days” complaint for being lazy…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Local centrist Harris Miller revealed that he doesn’t care who wins the 2024 presidential election as long as each candidate has a…
NEW YORK – The 20th annual Puppy Bowl is expected to open with an elaborate fireworks display which has many of the animal handlers questioning…
It’s that special time of the month when you get together with friends and family to play some board games and have a wholesome good…
Despite what your friends, family members, and recently assigned parole officer might say, circumstances that seem tragic right now will soon be something you and…
COWARD, S.C. — Touring goth band Need Help Again With Ghoul, reportedly changed their entire world perspective of gloomy unenthusiasm after enjoying some fun in…
SALEM, Ore. — Local punk Trent Jackson planned to attend the state fair “ironically” this weekend, making it the seventh year in a row he’s…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Spouses Josh and Natasha Taylor are reportedly in a losing battle for control of their sex swing — a purchase made to…
NEW YORK — Serial party animal Andrew W.K. shocked fans with his new acoustic album “Let’s Get This Get Together Over by Nine” which showed…
SALT LAKE CITY — Local motherfuckers expressed their displeasure with the lead singer of hardcore band Big Butter for repeatedly and maliciously singling them out…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Maryanne del Fuego was admitted to the hospital for what turned out to be a panic attack caused by a densely…
TOLEDO, Ohio — Nieces and nephews of local fun uncle Dennis “The Dennster” Drindle were shocked recently to learn that Drindle regrets every last life…
BOULDER, Colo. — A recent report conducted by a string of irritated citizens shows that the nation’s parks are already filled with assholes, dumbasses, and…