PHOENIX — Local Metalhead Josh Gunderson beamed with pride after realizing he is very close to owning a living room set thanks to several cinder…
Man Who Didn’t Get Concert Tickets Insured Comes Home to Find Them Murdered
NEW YORK — Local live music fan Rocco McMillan reportedly came home to find his tickets to an upcoming Every Time I Die show murdered…
TAMPA, Fla. — Norwegian black metal band Emyn Arnen were seen wandering into a JCPenney store after spotting a prominent Black Friday sign in the…
DENVER — Customers of local hotspot SlashCheese, a metal-themed pizza shop with a fittingly grungy exterior and blaring metal playing constantly, reported that the graphic…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Forty-two-year-old heavy metal fanatic Jason Higgins shocked bar patrons earlier this week by ordering a Jack Daniel’s Whiskey and cola with the…
Metallica’s Masterclass Just Four Hours of How to Sue Small Businesses and Teenagers
SAN FRANCISCO — The new Metallica Masterclass program where they teach viewers how to be a band is being called confusing and misleading by subscribers…
Tesla Unveils Self-Driving Dragula That Autonomously Digs Through Ditches and Burns Through Witches
PALO ALTO, Calif. — Tesla recently revealed the prototype for their new self-driving Dragula that can independently dig through ditches and burn through witches, sources…
SAN DIEGO — Local breadwinner and career bassist Clarissa Khatri announced a leave of absence from his day job after being forced to work through…
Previously Unknown Sepultura Album Discovered in Rainforest
BELO HORIZONTE, Brazil — A team of explorers recently discovered a previously unheard album by heavy metal band Sepultura hidden deep in the Amazon rainforest,…
Metal Band Only Playing Venues With Chain Wallet Mandates
ALTOONA, Pa. — Local metal band, Reluctant Cannibal, announced they will exclusively perform at venues that mandate the donning of chain wallets for every patron,…
NEW PALTZ, N.Y. — 62-year-old Larry Dang’s intensely positive description of a Rush show he attended in 1983 suggests that he is suffering from Stockholm…
Red Hot Chili Peppers Wear Dress Socks on Dicks for Court Date
LOS ANGELES — The Red Hot Chili Peppers shocked jurors and courtroom personnel at the California State Court House on Thursday by replacing the famous…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Representatives from HBO Max and the creative team behind Andrew W.K. announced plans to air a reunion special featuring all seven…
Study: States Legalizing Cannabis See a 45% Increase of Doom Metal Bands in First Year
PORTLAND, Ore. — A recent study out of the Portland Cannabis Institute shows American states that legalize recreational marijuana use see a 45% increase in…
6 Wild Lemmy Stories That We Embellished a Bit Because He Mostly Just Sat Around in a Bar
The two most badass words in Rock ‘n Roll: Lemmy. Kilmister. Hell, the man’s given last name is already cooler than any nickname you or…