ANAHEIM, Calif. – A Ku Klux Klan rally turned violent over the weekend when protesters and Klan members clashed in the street, leaving three protesters…
HARTFORD, CT – In a disturbing display of antisocial behavior, local psychopath Chaz Milwall bragged to coworkers that he routinely eats traditional breakfast entrees for…
DETROIT – After amassing a total potential tab in bids of nearly $7,000, local man Daniel Thompson realized that he is completely, utterly fucked if…
ST. LOUIS, MO – After going three consecutive shows without having to protest the performance of a single band, the St. Louis hardcore scene fears…
SAN JOSE, CA — The cryptically-named pop punk band Blink-182 were honored for their contributions to internet security in a ceremony last night, when they…
JERSEY CITY, NJ – Realizing her relationship was not working out, local woman Cynthia Jefferson decided to utilize her boyfriend’s generic barcode tattoo to cash…
SAN BERNARDINO, Calif. – An already strained relationship found itself in dire straits this past Thursday when local boyfriend and FBI investigator, Andrew Forrest, pleaded…
OAKLAND, CA – Known for their strong stance on preventing ocean acidification, ending deforestation, and maximizing the biocapacity of regional ecosystems, ecologically friendly hardcore band…
AUSTIN, TX – With stipulations like “TV Can Only Be Used to Watch Spanish Language Three’s Company” and “Carpet Ceiling,” Austin real estate magnate Joel…
NEWARK, N.J. — Unassuming airline passenger Peter Monahan was treated to an “energetic” and “unending” spoken word concert from former Dead Kennedys frontman Jello Biafra…
DANVILLE, Calif. — A panicked Jason Andrews, 15, hurriedly created a Valentine’s day card for his girlfriend Elizabeth this morning, sources close to the sound…
PHILADELPHIA – Valentine’s Day is a time-honored American holiday, and as couples nationwide nervously search for the perfect gift for their significant other, vegan boyfriend…
CASPER, Wyo. — The members of NeverXBroken experienced a close brush with death early Wednesday when their tour van swerved from the I-25 freeway near…
CHARLOTTE, N.C. – A local house party reportedly turned sour last night, as local man Seth Needham spent the entire night drunkenly slurring apologies for…
MONTEREY, CA – Despite not enrolling in a higher education program in over eight years, 30-year-old college graduate Eric Lewis still regularly uses his college…