Freelancer
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HEAVEN — Local benevolent being, God, ended the life of former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld today as a formal…
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Nathan Kamal
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BEND, Ore. — Local second grader Kevin Wood spent a day home sick from school and inadvertently imprinted on game…
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Patrick Coyne
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NASHVILLE — Local woman and occasional defecator Ingrid Fowler was shocked and alarmed to discover her boyfriend’s bathroom had just…
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Dom Turek
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HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. — A new study by Hofstra University has found that 100 percent of moms nationwide agree they’ve never…
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Booking a show is one of the best ways to support and/or steal from your local scene. But where do…
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Henrik Persson
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PITTSBURGH — The latest single by local punk band Dog Sniper used a sample of a “NBC Nightly News” telecast…
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BINGHAMTON, N.Y. — Local graphic designer Fletcher Townsend remains totally oblivious to the fact that his work portfolio continues to…
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Bobby Korec
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SEATTLE — Highly sought-after emotional support golden retriever Dr. Buttons Wigglesworth was reportedly not accepting new patients due to unusually…
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ATLANTA — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced earlier this week that fully vaccinated people may safely end…
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Patrick Crooks
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NEW YORK — A mercenary team of ex-special forces, KGB, and other trained combatants attempting to take an entire gala…
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