Hey, remember bucket hats? What a ‘90s nostalgia trip, am I right?! We used to call them fisherman hats because old men used to wear…
KALISPELL, Mont. — Prominent straight-edge hardcore band The Only Way Out burned their unused drink tickets last night in a desperate attempt to stay warm…
MILWAUKEE — Local high school senior Alex Leyden submitted his application this week for University of Wisconsin-Madison’s diversity scholarship on the basis that his hair…
There’s nothing you can do to stop the ravages of time, but if you really want to feel old, you should definitely think about how…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Scientists and well-wishers gathered earlier this week to watch as a crust punk affectionately known as “Shiv” was released back into the…
BLACK ROCK CITY, Nev. — Senior Amazon engineer Eddie Shipman claimed today that Burning Man, the weeklong electronic music festival held in the Nevada desert,…
Having a child is an experience you can’t comprehend until you’ve done it. So they tell me. I’m too busy doing cool shit. Anyway, here’s…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local boyfriend Adam Leben refused to admit to any wrongdoing for his alleged horrible behavior in his girlfriend’s dream last night, annoyed…
Here’s the thing, y’all – Lucas proposed to Lena. He proposed and now they’re engaged and now they’re each other’s fiancés and soon enough he’ll…
CONCORD, N.H. — President Donald Trump began a campaign rally in New Hampshire yesterday touting the strength of the economy before veering from prepared remarks…
LINCOLN, Neb. — Local hardcore frontman Troy Burgess spoke out during a show last night against the constant abuse perpetrated against female members of the…
RENO, Nev. — Sweaty and bumbling 16-year-old Skyler Donovan attempted to hide in a locker today next to his crush Christina Selig while dodging bullets…
I’ve always thought of myself as a pretty positive guy. A bird craps in my eyes, I’m like, “At least I have another eye.” When…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — California lawmakers passed a sweeping zine control bill today, banning DIY publications capable of being read by more than 10 people per…
BOSTON — General Electric introduced their “early discharge” microwave oven technology today, which is expected to improve user experience by stopping a cooking sequence one…