PHILADELPHIA — An anonymous protestor sporting a distinctive mohawk, dozens of gold chains, and American flag Zubaz pants was spotted yesterday toppling the Rocky Balboa…
DEDHAM, Mass. — Local Star Market employee Jimmy West will no longer be applauded for his brave commitment to serving the community following the discovery…
A young man came up to me while I was golfing yesterday, and said, “Mr. Trump, your Nazi socialist secret police force is,” blah blah…
Spongebob Squarepants.The bubble-blowing, fun-loving, flamboyant sea sponge has been entertaining young children and stoned adults for over 20 years. But while Spongebob is fictional, a…
FLAVORTOWN, Calif. — A quality-of-life ordinance passed by Flavortown’s town council this week will guarantee residents monthly universal chili con carne payments beginning as soon…
WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. — Disgruntled, maskless consumer Rod Shockley was seen outside a local supermarket yesterday asking customers complying with the store’s mandatory mask policy to…
WASHINGTON — A broken and sobbing Eric Trump choked down a seventh consecutive can of Goya beans this morning after a week of publicly binging…
LOS ANGELES — Clothing brand JNCO released a line of protective face masks yesterday that effectively cover the wearer’s entire body, matching the label’s trademark…
DURHAM, N.C. — Aspiring author Steve Otto finally has time during a self-imposed coronavirus quarantine to complete his novel which, according to friends and family,…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk band Bait and Snitch admitted today that they are really now more of a punk Dungeons and Dragons group now after…
Like most Americans, I grew up watching “The Sopranos.” My whole family would gather around the TV to see what kind of mob related shenanigans…
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Ofc. Travis McHone opened fire on several guests gathered at his home last night for a surprise party in his honor, leaving…
KEENE, N.H. — Local crystal healer and tarot card reader Elizabeth Stuart plans to donate her body to pseudoscience upon her passing, friends and spiritual…