WASHINGTON — President Trump’s approval rating has failed to crack the 40% mark among the last remaining American who managed to survive the pandemic and…
LOS ANGELES — Local tattoo artist “Big” Frank Kowlaski admitted today that he was profoundly impacted by a tattoo he inked last week of a…
RACINE, Wis. — Goth enthusiast and mother of four Obsidia Darque Jackson added a charming new “Die, Cry, Hate” sign to her family’s rumpus room…
CHICAGO — Local ex-boyfriend Dan Bakersfield hit up his ex-girlfriend last night to yell at her “like the good old days” after reaching the end…
LOS ANGELES — Unpopular streaming platform Quibi was visited yesterday by the ghost of NBC’s now-defunct streaming platform SeeSo, warning the young app of it’s…
AMHERST, Mass. — Smorth College announced today that instead of face-to-face instruction, it will release its fall semester classes on vinyl, citing pandemic concerns. “This…
NEW YORK – Legendary Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards took popular interview show “Hot Ones” to a new level yesterday by snorting all 10 sauces…
Homosexuality is a sin, plain and simple. Anyone trying to tell you these people are just like you and me are lying. They are abominations…
MUNCIE, Ind. — Local grandmother Ida Connolly increased the volume of her racist tirades yet again today since learning that her family enacted a “just…
This pandemic has been hard on all of us, especially those of us who believe it’s all one big liberal conspiracy to get me to…
CHICAGO — Music aficionado Ryan Moran booked his first trip to Tokyo last week, making the journey to try to save money on his expensive…
BOSTON — 41-year-old Tommy Dawson’s once-beloved Jane Doe tattoo finished it’s transformation last week after years of fading, evolving into its final stage as the…
WASHINGTON — Vice President Mike Pence is looking forward to debating Kamala Harris’ husband, Douglas Emhoff, on key issues impacting American heads-of-household and their wives…