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33% Capacity Show Produces 50% Larger Crowd than Local Band Has Ever Played For

BROOKLYN, N.Y. — A limited-capacity show yesterday evening drew a crowd twice as large as local band Jolly Bean Chili Greens has ever seen in their seven years of performing, sources report.

“This is the best day of my life. It’s always been my dream to play a sold-out show, and today is the day that dream comes true,” said JBCG frontman and full-time IT technician Andrew Garcia. “I would be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling the pressure of entertaining such a huge crowd right now, though. These 17 people finally get to see live music indoors for the first time in over a year, so we’re just gonna have to suck up these nervous jitters and turn this motherfucker out.”

Show attendees and long-time supporters of the band were also shocked by the turnout.

“Honestly, I was worried I was at the wrong show or something. I mean, I saw like, seven people standing outside of the venue, and then when I went in, there were still a few more people in it, and none of them worked at the venue or anything,” said JBCG drummer Josh Price’s roommate, Daryl Tran. “What really blew me away was how there wasn’t just one guy who came alone standing against the wall watching them set up, but two. On different parts of the same wall. It feels pretty cool to know someone before they got big. I just hope they don’t let this go to their head and get some ‘rockstar’ attitude.”

Experts report that this phenomenon should be expected for at least the next several months.

“Bands who couldn’t get their significant others or close friends to come see them play this time last year are witnessing unprecedented spikes in show attendance among their peers now,” said data analyst Katie Sharp. “I would guess that it’s equal parts reverse psychology and good old fashioned cabin fever that’s getting people to come out. Most people would stand in line for over an hour to experience literally anything at this point, so when someone’s coworker’s boyfriend’s band’s manager says they can get a person on any sort of list, there is a 100% chance that they will show up, at least while capacity maximums are this low.”

At press time, Garcia was overheard telling his boss to go fuck herself, claiming that there was no doubt in his mind that this is the right time to go pro with his music career.