SEATTLE — Local man Todd Cohen admitted that he is slowly caving to a misleading ad for the 7/11 hot dog snack known as “The…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local crust punk Julian “The Stain” Rainer stunned a group of friends by somehow clogging a perfectly good toilet merely after urinating…
OKLAHOMA CITY — Local sad sack Jarvis Palmer recently deleted all of his social media accounts and now spends most nights at his local grocery…
Cinema is a universal language that we all speak. Our favorite films connect us all by tapping into the greater consciousness of the human experience.…
GLEN BURNIE, Md. — Local punk Cris Martinson was recently honored by Forbes Magazine in their annual “30 People over 30 Who Need to Get…
LOS ANGELES — A survey of celebrities in the most elite rehabilitation facilities throughout greater Los Angeles showed 40% of respondents considered appearing on James…
AUSTIN, Texas — Republican lawmakers in Texas finally passed a controversial voter suppression bill along party lines which is set to take the right to…
BETHLEHEM, Pa. — Local punk Tyra Flores was spotted placing sheets of old newspaper over the corpse of her housemate Vince Russo following his untimely…
WASHINGTON — The United States of America picked up another twenty seasons of Forever War, according to a speech from President Biden last night. “Initially,…
OAK LAWN, Ill. — Father of four and local businessman Theodore “Ted” Rosenberg considers his chili con carne recipe to be the ultimate legacy he…
DRYDEN, N.Y. — An online trend known as the “milk crate challenge” left local punk Shelby Smalls with almost no furniture or storage options in…
WASHINGTON — President Biden announced a rebranding of the “Middle East Peace Process” to “The War On War” in hopes of appeasing warmonger lawmakers on…
MEDFORD, Mass. — The basement practice space at 234 Syrup Street is reportedly overrun by enough Aspergillus fumigatus to dampen sound, thanks to leaky water…
LOS ANGELES — A Weird Transparent Angel Lady, best known for her work as the cover model on Nirvana’s final studio album “In Utero,” is…
LOS ANGELES — Local man Hugh Bellamy’s self care practice was revealed to be one of the more disgusting things ever heard of in recent…