WESTBURY, N.Y. — Multiple despondent mourners confirmed that local punk “Fast” Eddie Gwan recently saved thousands if not more in expensive preventative care by simply…
LOS ANGELES — Hollywood A-lister Mark Wahlberg is researching a new role as a police officer in upcoming thriller “Crown Victoria” by having already committed…
PEORIA, Ill. — Local 36-year-old Victoria Wilkins once again refused to admit to her parents that she completely regrets the Fall Out Boy tattoo she…
MADISON, Wis. — An audience at a local coffee house performance art event this past weekend was disappointed when the headliner, Indigo Starr, was unable…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Newly vaccinated woman Denise Adame took advantage of her inoculated status late yesterday afternoon to step outside and take in the fresh,…
ASTORIA, Ore. — Beginner survivalist Ethan Foster quickly forgot which of the two bodily wastes was sterile, piss or shit, while traversing his first expedition,…
PHILADELPHIA — Shiko Dikaoni fell to pieces after glimpsing their reflection in the mirror in the middle of the night when getting up to pee…
DALLAS — Legendary ass-kicking institution The School Of Hard Knocks celebrated yet another graduating class of macho, non-PC, bootstrap puller-uppers this past weekend, multiple sources…
WASHINGTON — United States Capitol building ghost, Josiah H. Hubbard, confirmed that he feels a cold chill through his very being every time Kentucky Senator…
BERLIN — Late nineties pop sensation Lou Bega excited fans this week when he implied that a follow-up to his widely celebrated “Mambo No. 5”…