Patrick Crooks, Author at HARDTIMES

May 18, 2022

LINCOLN, Neb. — Local drunk Peter Brooks was outraged to find that despite holding the high score on the bar’s…

May 2, 2022

GALAPAGOS ISLANDS — The Galapagos punk scene was in shock this morning after learning of the tragic death of up…

April 30, 2022

BOSTON — Friends and relatives of local punk, Brian Gibbs, were astonished to learn that the known raging drunk considers…

April 30, 2022

All day long I hear people whining about supporting the troops. I can't even go to an event like a…

April 20, 2022

BOULDER, Colo. — Potheads across the country are leaving out Funyuns and Shasta for the weed delivery guy as he…

April 7, 2022

YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio. — A Cameo greeting from acclaimed character actor, Michael Shannon, left the recipient of the message Josh Gaither…

April 6, 2022

BOSTON — Friends and relatives of local resident, Brian Gibbs, have reported that the 28-year-old has insisted for years that…

February 17, 2022

LOS ANGELES — Progressive rock band, Sagramore, surprised attendees of their most recent show when they used the time schedule…

February 11, 2022

NEW YORK — A local dry cleaner called Talking Heads frontman David Byrne this morning informing him that they still…

February 5, 2022

BALTIMORE — Plucky, determined teens of the O’Donnell Street Recreation Center were disheartened to learn that defeating a local real…