PHILADELPHIA — Local birdwatcher and ornithology enthusiast Sam Greer watched approximately half of the classic 1970s John Waters film “Pink Flamingos” before reaching the conclusion that the movie was, in fact, not about birds, grossed out sources confirmed.
“The title is a bit misleading, but I guess this one is on me for not doing a bit of research before turning the movie on,” remarked a dejected Greer. “Not to say it was a bad movie. It’s just that I had my heart set on watching a bird documentary and had invited some fellow birders over to watch this one. It certainly was out there and kind of disgusting at some points, but I’ve got a strong stomach for these sorts of things. There were some laugh out loud moments, but after a scene at a birthday party I care not to repeat, someone suggested we see what was on Netflix.”
Guest reactions to the evening’s course of events were mixed, ranging from indignant to “what can you do?”
“If you’re going to call a movie ‘Pink Flamingos’ then it had damn well better be about Phoenicopterus Roseus,” stated guest Peter Chambers. “Perhaps Sam meant this as a joke, but I certainly wasn’t laughing. The only thing close to bird related content was the old lady in the crib obsessed with eggs, but that just left me feeling uneasy. Someone needs to account for this heinous error. As such, I intend to speak with the counsel regarding Sam’s membership in the Chestnut Hill Birding Society.”
Director John Waters dismissed the incident by stating “mistakes will happen.”
“Well, I’m always happy when someone checks out my movies, but they’re definitely not for everyone,” said the Baltimore-based filmmaker. “You need to be in the right mindset before watching one of my films or they could come off as a bit disturbing, I suppose. And as a birdwatcher myself, I could see how someone may dislike a sex scene in which a chicken is crushed to death. I would suggest instead they check out ‘Winged Migration’ or ‘The Crimson Wing,’ which is about pink flamingos, by the way.”
At press time, Greer had begun preparing for a trip to Belgrade by starting to watch and then quickly turning off “A Serbian Film.”