Awww yeah. You already know what the fuck is going on here. Me and my lady are off to see a show tonight. It’s been…
BALLARD RESIDENCE — A disturbing and highly scientific new study has found that I, Gary Ballard, the extremely parched breadwinner that works too damn hard…
“The Wire” is considered the greatest show of all time, besides all those other shows that are also considered the greatest of all time. Despite…
First of all, I just want to say to all my friends and family, thank you for your concern. I really appreciate it but I’m…
BOSTON — An allegedly cash-poor Dropkick Murphys irked fans by announcing that Arbor Day has always been one of “their things” in what was “definitely…
DELRAY BEACH, Fla. — Stoned-out-of-his-gourd movie director and podcaster Kevin Smith is still answering the first question of a Q and A nearly four hours…
Beyond Helter Skelter: 5 Other Beatles Songs Charles Manson Thought Were About an Impending Race War
Beyond Helter Skelter: 5 Other Beatles Songs Charles Manson Thought Were About an Impending Race War
All-around scalawag and well-known forehead swastika enthusiast Charles Manson was famous for many things. But he’s perhaps best known for his belief that the proto-metal…
ANTHEMOESSA — Shipwrecks across the world dropped after mythological Sirens that normally lure sailors to certain death with their beautiful songs, suddenly began singing Nu-Metal…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Roommates Manny Hernandez and Rob McCarty spent their first weekend together laying the ground rules for their new home, flipping a coin…
Here at The Hard Times, we get a lot of questions from our readers asking for advice. While we’re happy to oblige, there are some…
LOS ANGELES — An alleged serial killer and millennial is taunting LAPD and terrorizing the city through a series of deranged, emoji-laden letters, angry and…
Every year, our editor’s doctor forces him to take a vacation before his job causes a mental breakdown. As you can imagine, reviewing and rejecting…
TACOMA, Wash. — Terminal cancer patient Brenda Goff is planning to lay as still as possible after spotting U2’s annoyingly benevolent lead singer Bono haranguing…
WARRINGTON, Pa. — Local man and guy who “maybe enjoys an occasional drink, no big deal” Dennis Walsh realized yesterday that alcoholism is the only…
JONESBORO, Ark. — Local burnout Declan Goddard finally achieved his long-term goal of securing a “sort of funny” and “only a little sad” credit score…