PARKER, Colo. — Middle-aged CPA Ken Feeney has no idea what to think today after MTV enthusiastically responded to a…
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LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Local millennial David Hickman Jr. very nearly sent his father a lengthy, impassioned explanation yesterday of…
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Every environmentally-minded millennial knows the pain of forgetting their reusable grocery bag. Unfortunately, it’s just too easy to buy a…
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ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local man and alleged “Dove Soap-loving jagoff” Dan Paulson thinks he’s “king shit of hygiene town”…
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DENVER — Your boyfriend of two years claimed yesterday, in a “totally gross” and “most definitely insincere” showering of affection,…
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WASHINGTON — ‘90s rap-rock icon Kid Rock is currently having a full blown panic attack after “dropping a major league…
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DENVER — The entire state of Colorado hid 500 tons of legal marijuana in a building-sized Altoids tin prior to…
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JERSEY CITY, N.J. — Bassist and new band member Dylan McCuskey must eat no less than 3,000 eggs so his…
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ESSEX, Conn. — Former precocious teen Clarissa Darling has gone from “explaining it all” to spending the majority of her…
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LONDON — The British-born glam rock guitarist who goes by the name “Scazz Slaughter” has almost definitely got “some dumbass…
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