Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

December 24, 2020

Of all the questions that children and children at heart have for the jolly old elf St. Nicholas, number one…

December 21, 2020

ALLSTON, Mass. — Local goth and recent convert to Wicca Willow Bates is insisting to anyone who will listen that…

December 14, 2020

SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — “Christmas Vacation” actor Randy Quaid voiced his support for President Trump yesterday, ruining every sane, cheer-deprived…

December 7, 2020

BROOKINGS, S.D. — Professional carpenter and terrible navigator Trevor Grainger is already beginning to regret allowing his overwhelming hubris to…

November 29, 2020

NEWARK, N.J. — Self-proclaimed “cool boss” Ken Hammond, who often plays guitar in his office and regularly drinks with his…

November 28, 2020

LONDON — World-famous primatologist Dame Jane Goodall announced today that, after 60 years of studying chimpanzees in their native habitat,…

November 25, 2020

VOORHEES, N.J. — Local grandmother and World War 2 hero Dorothy Schuler was asked yesterday by her grandson Darin Roche…

November 16, 2020

It’s no revelation to say that most of the great comedies of yesteryear couldn’t be made today. The cultural climate…

November 12, 2020

ANAHEIM, Calif. — LEGO customer service representative Janice Kirkland was well aware that caller and middle-aged man Mike Doherty was…

November 11, 2020

OLIVETTE, Mo. — Siblings Freddy and Kevin Rosario have separately come to the unfortunate conclusion that quoting a “Plimpton Auto”…

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