It’d Be Nice If the Government Agent Spying on Me Came Out to One of My Shows
I’ve been playing anarcho-folk songs for the better part of a decade, so it’s no surprise that the Government has…
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Kevin Tit
104 stories found
I’ve Been Playing Power Chords My Whole Life and I’m Still Weak As Shit
This is absolute bullshit. I’ve been playing power chords my whole life, spending countless hours learning "Age of Quarrel," "Set…
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Opinion: Bears Have Every Right To Defend Themselves From the Bees in the Hive They’re Invading
I'm just gonna say what we're all thinking. If a bee thinks it’s a good idea to sting the bear…
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New Electric Drum Set Comes Pre-Covered in Dust
BOTHELL, Wash. — Audio equipment giant Behringer excited consumers by releasing a new line of electric drum sets that comes…
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How Many Unarmed People Do I Have To Kill To Get Some Paid Time Off?
I’ve been with the department for eight years now, and every request I’ve put in for leave has been denied.…
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President Biden Urges Nation to Peacefully Allow Law Enforcement to Continue Murdering Them
WASHINGTON — President Biden urged American citizens to peacefully allow law enforcement to continue murdering them following a spike in…
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Toxic Friend Also Coolest Mother Fucker You Know
VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — A recent study of your entire friend group came to the unimpeachable conclusion that Daniel Jordan,…
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Jazz Drummer Holds Fork Like That Too
NEW ORLEANS — Clint Frenzy, the legendary jazz drummer known for his innovative yet traditional style, reportedly holds his fork…
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Gym Refuses to Terminate Membership Until You’re Completely Out of Money
WHEATON, Md. — The local branch of the BodySmith Fitness franchise is refusing to terminate your gym membership until you…
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Five Skate Shoes That Say “I Don’t Actually Skateboard”
In simpler times, you could easily identify a common interest based on someone's clothing. Wearing a shirt of a band…
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