Ever since I discovered BDSM Tumblr as a youth, I have dreamt of dying at the hands of horned-up sadistic hellspawn. I dedicated my life…
GRAND ISLAND, Neb. — Local doctor Harvin Smill found himself visibly sweaty this morning responding with a mumbled sequence of “uhhh yeah me too, totally,…
Not everyone experiences autonomous sensory meridian response, or ASMR, the tingly brain sensation triggered by everything from whispering and crunching noises to the clacking sounds…
Hi, I’m Andrea, 28, and if I’m being honest, I’m only swiping for your dog lol! Take me on an adventure! I love to explore…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local 22-year-old religious conservative Blake Howard revealed to a group of friends that he believed life began at “butt stuff,” sources who…
SEATTLE – An enormous black hole sun capable of devouring the entire world and casting it into the void would come a lot faster if…
“Good Apollo I’m Burning With Secrets of Silent Earth 3 Volume IV: Section B (The Diaxis Continent) Addendum” What the fuck does any of this…
SEATTLE — Thirty-seven-year-old father Peter Goodman recently sat down with his son, Jamiroquai, to explain the intimate mechanics of sexual maturity, which by Goodman’s description…
MODESTO, Calif. — Local bachelor Lou Charksville admitted that he can’t be himself around his new exceptionally lifelike sex doll which is far too out…
It’s getting entirely too hot to be outside and you know what that means: It’s Renaissance Faire season! Baking in a parking lot all day…
If you’re anything like me, by which I mean anyone between the ages of 10 and 45 in 1995, then HBO’s docu-series Real Sex had…
You’re having a really good time on your date with the cute guy you met at the punk flea market. He’s charming, funny, and you’re…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local man Allen McGuire noticed late yesterday afternoon that the sex doll he ordered online beared a striking resemblance to rock n’…
Okay, listen up you dirty piggies, because my wife and I are tired of all the messages we’ve been getting from all of you DUDES.…
All my adult life, people have wondered about my secrets. How is it that I, a man with a ponytail and a Tame Impala T-shirt,…