PERTH AMBOY, N.J. — Friends and family of local punk Ricky Ballstead report he is aging “like a fine PBR” and very much proud about…
ATLANTA — Local panhandler Bobby Moore’s attempt to garner spare change from Tesla driver Jermaine Hoffman has come to a standstill while waiting for a…
NOBLESVILLE, Ind. — Local man Noam Lane’s “over-the-top” proposal gave his long-term girlfriend no choice but to decide whether she should enter into a legally…
PATCHOGUE, N.Y. — Best Buy’s nationwide Black Friday sale reportedly includes huge discounts on labor with their employees being paid half-off of what they should…
SCHAUMBURG, Ill. — Twice divorced Uncle Mike Dilmer became outraged beyond comprehension due to the mere existence of Tofurky at his extended family’s Thanksgiving celebration,…
WEST HAVEN, Conn. — Local man Nick Gransby is doing surprisingly well for himself with a loving family and fulfilling career, despite having never left…
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — Legendary rock band Weezer surprised audiences at this past weekend’s Ugly Sweater Festival when their set consisted entirely of ironic versions…
HURSTBOURNE, Ky — Local technophile Dean Espinosa made yet another fucking pencil holder after needlessly blowing $10,000 on a 3D printer, frustrated familial sources confirmed.…
BOSTON — Local landlord Viktor Lind used his precious time and resources to add a fresh coat of paint to a dead mouse in the…
OMAHA, Neb. — A longtime Walmart employee revealed that he is giving himself at least three or four more shifts until he finally snaps and…
IRVINE, Calif. — Giddy Zillow executives announced in a Facebook post Tuesday morning that they were the proud owners of their 643rd home in one…
ATLANTA — A terrified passenger aboard flight 1894 to Portland expressed slight relief today in noting that the creature on the wing of his plane…
CHICAGO — Local young couple Brandon Brentwood and Jade Long discovered that Long’s grandmother is just trying way too hard after going through her vinyl…
PALO ALTO, Calif. — Scientists for Tesla’s robotics team have reported that recent requests from senior management indicate that they are more than likely being…
Engagement Announcement Overshadowed by More Popular Couple Adopting Dog
SEATTLE — Newly engaged couple Daryl Stein and Hannah West are absolutely livid that their celebratory post got significantly less likes than their friend’s post…