CHILLICOTHE, Ohio — Local mom Phyllis Marlon filed a private defamation lawsuit against her daughter, Lisa, after the fourteen-year-old returned home from a trip to…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Touring band ‘The Flattered & The Curious’ regaled tenants of the apartment they are crashing in with tales from the road while…
EDINA, Minn. — 37-year-old man Steve Bellows opted for chicken fingers for his seventh consecutive dinner outing despite having poured over the entire 23-page menu…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local faded couple Robby Weeks and Angela Torres found and have since adopted a puppy while out doing whatever it is they…
YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio. — A Cameo greeting from acclaimed character actor, Michael Shannon, left the recipient of the message Josh Gaither unable to sleep and thoroughly…
LOS ANGELES — Notorious punk rock ghoul Matt Skiba was spotted monotonously saying the phrase “I’m a spooky boy” over and over to his own…
BOSTON — Friends and relatives of local resident, Brian Gibbs, have reported that the 28-year-old has insisted for years that his frequent tremors are due…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — A bag of baby spinach sitting untouched in a local fridge is currently coming to the inevitable conclusion that it will die…
LAS VEGAS — Pop punk fan and amateur blackjack player Devin Suggs has fallen into debt after instinctively hitting on hands of 15, disgusted sources…
WASHINGTON — Average consumers are feeling the pinch both metaphorically and literally as rising gas prices have resulted in them having to give up twice…
BOCA RATON, Fla. — Local man Patrick Miller prepared an unwilling audience for a lengthy racist anecdote, assuring everyone that he and his friends’ ignorant…
RICHMOND, Va. — Several medical reports released early this morning state that any and all injuries sustained after the age of 25 will be with…
MONTREAL — Members of the pop-punk Simple Plan are having an existential crisis after realizing that life never really stopped being a nightmare as they…
INDIANAPOLIS — Your arch-nemesis allowed you to enjoy the majority of a record by a band you did not realize is Christian and plans to…
KEENE, N.H. — Local dad Richard Miller is reportedly about to start another boring story in which he’ll be sure to note the race of…