DALLAS — Local white man Darrell Hargrove raised alarm bells yesterday after a traffic incident led experts to believe his mugshot may soon appear on…
SAN FRANCISCO — After liking, sharing, and commenting on his posts, it looks like your “new friend” from last week’s virtual open mic Chris Hardny…
LOS GATOS, Calif. — Netflix announced yesterday that they are ordering a slew of new violent homicides to generate content for a new true crime…
LONDON — Cartoon bassist for the virtual indie rock group Gorillaz, Murdoc Niccals, died of a cartoon heroin overdose Wednesday, a cartoon doctor wearing a…
WASHINGTON — Democratic members of the U.S. legislature announced today that, “Fuck it, we’re gonna lower the minimum wage,” following backlash from supporters frustrated by…
SANDUSKY, Ohio — The Pop Punk Diocese of Ohio is facing a wave of criticism following the transfer of a frontman who faced multiple accusations…
LUBBOCK, Texas — Chicken farmer Todd Lowe admitted today that he’s fed up with the stream of people who are impeding his farm work by…
Yes, we’re living through a global pandemic and COVID numbers are rising every day, but it’s still Rex Manning Day. Since the original release of…
BUENA PARK, Calif. — Popular instrument manufacturer Yamaha announced a partnership yesterday with flagship nü-metal band Korn to produce a signature model 89-key piano, excited…
SEATTLE — Real estate giant Zillow announced a new “punk” setting today for users that will allow potential home buyers to split the mortgage between…
ATLANTA — Local man Chris Mitchell reportedly is only willing to vote for a candidate who will immediately restrict, hinder and ultimately completely bar him…
EVANSTON, Ill. — Local man Ryan Michaelson began a new ritual last October, placing $7 in his fridge each time he gets up for a…
ERIE, Pa. — Self-proclaimed grindcore aficionado Eduard Riva has vanished from the internet in recent months, as Facebook’s content flagging protocols continue to catch and…
LOS ANGELES — 40-year-old IT worker Shane Bryce realized yesterday that he can’t imagine a time in his life where reading an entire book would…
DALLAS — Laid off mall security guard and avid Pantera fan Jamie Gunderson has essentially torn his apartment down to the studs with his fists…