Press "Enter" to skip to content

Facebook Content Flagging Feature Prevents Grindcore Fan From Ever Posting Their Favorite Bands

ERIE, Pa. — Self-proclaimed grindcore aficionado Eduard Riva has vanished from the internet in recent months, as Facebook’s content flagging protocols continue to catch and block the majority of their online activity discussing the genre’s major players, sources within their social media circles confirmed.

“My online identity has essentially been erased,” Riva claimed while adjusting their unevenly set septum ring. “My last three posts were all taken down because they were about Pig Destroyer, Anal Cunt, and Fuck the Facts. In the case of Fuck the Facts, you think Facebook would be more than willing to let that slide based on what they’ve allowed in the past. I even tried using special characters, but ‘C1rc7e 0f De4d C1i7dren’ was still taken down. If they’re doing this to grindcore bands, then just try to imagine what’s happening to fans of extreme death metal.”

Riva’s friends are concerned that the “genre’s biggest fan” is going through something that is keeping them distracted from their usual online chatter.

“I haven’t really known what to listen to lately. Eduard used to post videos and recommendations twice a day — yeah, lots of the YouTube thumbnails were pretty fucked up images, especially the Cripple Bastards cover for ‘Almost Human,’ but I don’t think it’s fair for Facebook to make those judgment calls,” longtime internet friend Susanna Friedemann said as Hatebeak blared in the background. “Eduard always had the best grindcore takes, and I’m hoping this absence from social media just means they are taking some time to come back with some really special commentary.”

Facebook users aren’t the only ones who lament how the new effort has affected fans’ abilities to talk about brutal bands online.

“There are a lot of things to be embarrassed about these days working for Facebook, and this is one of them,” said senior programmer “Grinder,” who requested to remain anonymous to protect his job at the company. “I tried to bring these issues up with coworkers in one of the central meanings surrounding content flagging, but I was outvoted by the large majority of them who like Top 40 shit and have no idea about the realities of committing yourself to raw, gutpunching music. In an era where online marketing and distribution are the keys to any band’s success, the future for grindcore looks bleak.”

Riva has also been permanently banned from Twitter after posting Assück lyrics under a friend’s wedding announcement.