CHANDLER, Ariz. — Gina Feldspar, bassist for punk band Piss Ritual, performed a periodic inventory of “good” and “bad” teeth by using her tongue to…
YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio. — A Cameo greeting from acclaimed character actor, Michael Shannon, left the recipient of the message Josh Gaither unable to sleep and thoroughly…
TOPEKA, Kan. — A nine-month-old bedbug currently residing in local punk house and objectively disgusting place, 321, is reportedly at her limit of physical, mental,…
MEADVILLE, Penn. — A week before his child abuse trial, local priest Justin Canthorne continues to cast himself as a “misunderstood iconoclast,” according to the…
DETROIT — Local metalhead, 36-year-old Denny Brokum, is reportedly willing to admit that he hasn’t heard of the band Scatological Wasteland but is confident that…
COLUMBUS – Self-proclaimed anti-capitalist, James McCarthy, expressed his true feelings for his long-term partner by forgetting it’s Valentine’s Day for the fourth year in a…
EAST LANSING, Mich. — Reports show that despite the acid you took having kicked in only five minutes ago, you have somehow been absolutely losing…
LONDON — Bedroom post-punk musician Rob Davidson begged listeners to use headphones while listening to his latest EP, apparently unaware that he would be fortunate…
CUPERTINO, Calif. — Insurance claims adjuster Jason Parkinson became frustrated this morning over the unhelpful password recovery hint that he created, which only made retrieving…
LANCASTER, N.H. — A local historian of punk rock recently unearthed incontrovertible evidence that GG Allin’s full name was actually Gilmore Girls Allin, sources who…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Local punk Lenny Hanna is reportedly attempting to rent out a room in his flop-house by telling tenants they may eventually be…
DENVER — Customers of local hotspot SlashCheese, a metal-themed pizza shop with a fittingly grungy exterior and blaring metal playing constantly, reported that the graphic…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Chris Jones was left reeling after realizing that he had no clue as to what his best friend of 25…
PINOLE, Calif. — Emergency Medical responders arrived at the site of a psychiatric distress call late Wednesday to find Sheriff’s Deputies already wildly firing their…
LOS ANGELES — The lone mic stand at music venue The Kick Drum in eastern Los Angeles “fucking blows” and won’t stop drooping down seconds…