KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Local punk Abigail Burton was forced to confront the ways her listening habits reflect her deeply pathetic personal life after a white…
EUGENE, Ore. — Local actuary Kelly Freeman reported that her recent breakup from noise musician Floyd Harrell has “completely ruined” the genre for her, but…
TORONTO — A local fire truck en route to a fire reportedly honked and blared its siren despite there being no vehicles obstructing its path…
UKIAH, Calif. — Local showgoer Ernie Morales lamented the fact he is almost certainly contracting the coronavirus delta variant while attending an avant-garde noise show…
So, you’re on a date with a band dude you met at a show. Nice! Well, almost. See, you’re trying to have a romantic night…
TORONTO — Local post-rock band To Lay in a Store of Sucking Stones unveiled a “Skip Intro” feature designed by programmers at Netflix for their…
TUCSON, Ariz. — A seven year old PlayStation 4 that has been making more and more noise has reportedly grown a propeller and engine system…
PENSACOLA, Fla. — A fistfight moments ago between local punks Deandra Ybarra and Carrie Wilks was described by all watching as “unexpectedly quiet and weird,”…
BOSTON — Extremely sweaty attendees at a Four Year Strong “Brain Pain” record release show report the band has been playing the same breakdown for…
INDIANAPOLIS — Bomb squad technicians responded this morning to a call about a suspicious, unattended device left at a Greyhound bus terminal, which turned out…
DENVER — Local harsh noise artist Jeremy Phillips halted progress on his upcoming EP today when he couldn’t determine which of his songs were finished,…
LOS ANGELES — Fans and critics alike were delighted today by the long-awaited release of Tool’s new album “Fear Inoculum,” which sounds exactly the same…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Prolific noise musician Tyler Witbank was asked to leave his shared apartment last week for looping and repeating an argument with his…
NEW YORK — Subway conductor Manny Tannenbaum’s formal request to “really pump up the overdrive” of his train’s PA system was approved early this morning…
NEWTON, Mass. — Recently discovered Anal Cunt demo tapes will be released later this year, detailing new subjects former frontman Seth Putnam once considered “gay,”…