NASHVILLE — Notorious guitar collector Joe Bonamassa is being praised for saving a mint 1965 Gibson ES-335 from a lifetime of quality songwriting in a…
CREST HILL, Ill. — Newly convicted felon Silas Deane Highway is reportedly looking forward to his 6-8 year prison sentence because he’s always dreamed of…
BURBANK, Calif. — Local showgoer Pete Tucker was seen telling a seasoned musician about how he also used to dabble in music himself, despite merely…
We don’t mean to imply Glenn Danzig has a wealth of musical talent; we all know the 12-foot Frankenstein probably did all of the writing…
NEW YORK — Local ukuleleist Avery Starnback celebrated with friends and family after landing their dream job of scoring a campaign video on the popular…
COOKEVILLE, Tenn. — Cautious guitarist Samuel Tollins is almost ready to fart near his new Fender American Professional II Stratocaster after three months of being…
APPLETON, Wis. — Teenage prodigy Shari Ford is being hailed as the next great bassist after mastering the electric bass guitar 16 minutes into her…
LONDON — Virtuoso violinist Hans Kriegsman came to the difficult realization that he plays in a glorified cover band while performing Bach’s “Jesu, Joy of…
MESA, Ariz. — Over-indulgent guitarist Marky Pritchard was careful to make sure none of his roommates were home before he churned out some truly masturbatory…
ST. LOUIS — Audience members were upset at a local punk show last night when touring band Metallicunt revealed themselves to have a token girl…
When it comes to songwriting, the most important thing you need to understand is your audience. But since we’re an emotionless husk with no ability…
So you’re a gearhead, huh? You think you’ve got a sweet gear collection? Alright, if you’re so sure of yourself, then how about putting your…
WASHINGTON — A CDC annual report detailing the various causes of death in the United States noted that “being crushed by a falling piano,” while…
NASHVILLE — Legendary guitar manufacturer Gibson Brands, Inc. announced an incredibly weighty successor to its famous Les Paul guitar, monikered the More Paul, sources who…
AMHERST, Mass. — Local resident Minkont Cranford stunned his roommates yesterday with his acquisition of an oversized, bulky organ, discovered on the street for free…