Sidney Conant
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DAVENPORT, Iowa — Local Submissive Seventh fan and total dweeb Derek Maldonado reportedly threw away any remaining ounce of self-respect…
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Reuben Blanchard
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PROVIDENCE, R.I. — A life-long fan of the political rock group Rage Against the Machine expressed outrage that the band’s…
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Dan Bookbinder
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ORLANDO, Fla. — Audience members were disgusted to see local music fan Dylan Avalos singing along for the entirety of…
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Courtney Hill
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TOLEDO, Ohio — Local nu metal guitarist and longtime imbecile Mike “Grundbutter” Hobbes of Synapse Flux somehow managed to lose…
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Dan Rice
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So, you thought you could outwit me, did you? You thought you could waltz in here and effortlessly diffuse my…
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Patrick Crooks
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BOSTON — Friends and relatives of local resident, Brian Gibbs, have reported that the 28-year-old has insisted for years that…
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Rachel Steele
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BOCA RATON, Fla. — Local man Patrick Miller prepared an unwilling audience for a lengthy racist anecdote, assuring everyone that…
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Peter Woods
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INDIANAPOLIS — Your arch-nemesis allowed you to enjoy the majority of a record by a band you did not realize…
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Peter Woods
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INDIANAPOLIS — Your arch-nemesis allowed you to enjoy the majority of a record by a band you did not realize…
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Matt McInerney
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KEENE, N.H. — Local dad Richard Miller is reportedly about to start another boring story in which he’ll be sure…
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