Trash Moth is back, and my inner 17-year-old is ecstatic that the band I worshiped in high school is finally reuniting after all these years.…
THOUSAND OAKS, Calif. — Local high school freshman Mason Daniels was forced to become a member of his local punk community after a self-administered haircut…
SALINE, Mich. — Supposed “lame-ass” history teacher Trevor Rubio failed student Rachel Traynor yesterday for insisting that Neutral Milk Hotel lyrics were a credible source…
GREAT NECK, N.Y. — Plumber, adventurer, and class of 1985 graduate Mario Mario reportedly confused the majority of his graduating class as he told old…
UMTANUM, Wash. — Local single man Cameron Barrett admitted today that he’s been patiently waiting for his high school crush to get divorced so he…
Like most Americans, we spent our time quarantined catching up on podcasts, learning to cook (shoutout my sourdough starter), and plotting how to get back…
KANTO — Local would-be Pokémon trainer Bobby, despite completing his initial training, receiving a Pokédex, and being fully prepared to battle across the Kanto region…
Hey, Hometown Crush Who Peaked in High School Here, Just Sliding Into Your DMs to Say “Not All Cops”
Yesterday, 1:26pm Hey, remember me lol it’s been a while! Yesterday, 1:29pm Thought about you the other day when I ran a stop sign on…
DULUTH, Minn. — A recent invitation to her 20 year high school reunion has Samus Aran, graduate of Howard Olson High School and star of…
DENVER — Local high schooler Jake Fritzler astounded his teachers today by scoring 1050 on the SAT despite entering nothing but the sequence “ACAB” on…
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Edison High School was set ablaze with speculation last week that it’s gym teacher, Douglas Vesely, might actually be legendary hardcore frontman…
MERRIMACK, N.H. — Iconic town landmark Makeout Point, once the place to go for late-night necking, is now allegedly almost exclusively for butt stuff, according…