Evan Doering
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MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Local man Garret Bergeron asked a Bizarro Records store clerk yesterday if she validated opinions before he…
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Gary Doyle
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CHICAGO — Local pervert Tommy Webster was surprised to discover yesterday a band named after mannequin pussy, his favorite fetish…
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Louie Aronowitz
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OMAHA, Neb. — Frontman/songwriter of folk/punk trio Astor tried to write lyrics as haiku poetry, but kept messing up the…
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Lauren Lavín
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LOS ANGELES — The number of new recruits joining Tiger Army has reached an all-time low, according to numbers released…
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Freelancer
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EL PASO, Texas — The legal team at Williams & Ruprecht was stunned today when a seemingly normal stack of…
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LOS ANGELES — Local girlfriend Ashley Wagner mistakenly believes Bryce Latterby, her boyfriend of six months, is actively engaged in…
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James Knapp
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HOUSTON — Self-proclaimed “bad boy of outer space” Willis McReady cost the National Aeronautics and Space Administration approximately $3.4 million…
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Kate Howard
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BOSTON — Local record store owner Hank Lapkus is an anxious mess lately, spending every day hoping his customers don’t…
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CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple released a surprising new report today, revealing that the average iPhone owner uses roughly half of…
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Rick Homuth
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LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Cabs, heads, and amplifiers of all kinds outnumbered attendees for a weeknight doom metal show last…
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